Forced Goodbye



‘We shouldn’t be doing this.’

This thought enters my mind for a brief second, but then I look at you and the look your giving me predatory. Just like that, my mind can focus on is you. You raise your hand to tug the wild strand of hair which you can never tame.

‘So I was thinking’ I mumble but we both know it’s a lie. How can I make even one sane thought when you’re looking at me like that. Like I’m the sun after ten years of rain. We move closer and suddenly it’s all too much.

We meet midway and there is a clash of lips, teeth and more. What had started I a frenzy slows down and the kiss becomes passionate. Soon the kissing turns into touching and then some. And once again we’re doing it.

I meet you again a few days later. You have circles under your eyes and it looks like you haven’t been sleeping. You smile but I know it’s fake. But we don’t talk about it, we never do. It would just lead to unnecessary fights and we both have a huge ass ego to apologize first. So instead we do what we always do best, ignore the problem until it goes away. We talk, you laugh and nothing else matters at that moment. When you hug me that day, it feels like a goodbye.

You text me it’s over that day. I call, you answer and I shout. Calling you names and telling you that you’re a coward for breaking up with me over a text and whatnot, you still don’t say a word. I get it, I really do but it still hurts.

Over the next few months, you cut all ties with me and I’m left alone to pick up the pieces of my broken heart. I understand your reasons but that doesn’t mean I agree with them. After-all, it’s morally and legally wrong for us to be together. The society can’t deal with two girls dating and you’re too afraid to fight against it.

It’s a year later that I get to know that you are getting married to some guy your parents wanted you to. I hope you have a happy marriage but how can that be when you hide such an important part of yourself from him. I still hope that you’ll confess and wouldn’t be stuck in a loveless marriage. But you don’t and get married, moving on in your life.

As for me, I make a promise to myself that I will fight, I will fight until people like us get justice, until we are not shunned and forced to hide. Girls can kiss girls and boys can kiss boys, life is too short to worry about these things. Love is love and I will fight with this belief until there are no more forced goodbyes.